We’re all doomed! DOOMED!!!

No. We’re not.

Scared-kitten

Seriously, we’re not. If you’re worried about that, maybe after reading some end of the world nonsense you found elsewhere, relax, please. We’re safe. We’re safer than a kitten sleeping in the folds of a blanket in front of a flickering fire on a cold winter’s night.

But if you’re one of the tin foil hat wearing, conspiracy theory believing, X Files obsessed, fruit loop “The End Is Nigh!” nutters who lives in their parents’ basement and spends hours reading about Mayan Calendars, UFOs, Moon Landing Hoaxes and the like, this isn’t the blog for you. Kindly leave. No, really, I mean it. See that red “X” at the top right of the page? Click on it and **** off. You’re not welcome here.

I can imagine what some of you are thinking now. “That’s a bit harsh, Stu, no need for that.” But I don’t think it is a bit harsh, and this is my blog, my attempt to educate and inform people about ISON, so what I say goes.

But it’s not just that. Sadly, nowadays anything a) astronomical and b) rare gets hijacked by a bunch of absolute dribble-drooling crazies nowadays, people with far too much spare time on their hands and, sadly, access to a computer and the internet. These nuttersΒ  set up a blog, a Twitter account or a YouTube channel and any new discovery – a comet, asteroid, whatever – is quickly kidnapped by them and heralded as proof that the world is going to end, or that God is angry with us, or both! It’s bizarre. These people actually seem to relish the thought of billions of people dying and human civilisation being wiped out, and are even disappointed when it doesn’t happen! Take all that Mayan crap at the end of last year. It was always rubbish – the Mayans never predicted the end of the world, it was modern 21st century idiots who twisted the whole calendar thing into something stupid – and when the world didn’t end on the day it was predicted to they all backtracked, insisting the calculations were wrong, or the translation was wrong. Doomsday was just delayed, not cancelled.

Prats and f***wits. I have no time for them. I’m quite sure none of you reading this hold such beliefs, you’ve come here looking for practical advice and oserving information. But if this is you…

tfh

…then seriously, this isn’t the place for you. A quick Google search for “Comet+ISON+bull****” will find somewhere where you’ll be welcome. Or do a twitter search for #cometison and you’ll meet all kinds of crazies there, most with ridiculous names involving the Illuminati, or “Truth” (ironic, as they wouldn’t recognise the truth if it kicked them in the genitals), or “Revelation” or some reference to the Bible. My personal favourites are the losers whose Twitter names have some reference to 2012 in them. Obviously they set up those Twitter accounts in 2012 when they were screaming at everyone how the world was going to end. That they’re still here, and were proved totally wrong, seems to have escaped them. Bit pathetic that.

It’s incredible, it really is, the amount of sheer BS being put about by these people. So, just to quickly go through the current favourite delusions of these gibbering, drooling halfwits… and more will have been added by the time you finish reading this list, I’m sure…

* Comet ISON is not “Nibiru”, the ‘tenth planet’ destined to collide with, and destroy, Earth. (We know this because Nibiru is TOTALLY fictional, a fantasy made up by idiots with no knowledge of astronomy, and no willingness to learn anything about it).

* Comet ISON will not hit the Earth. (We know this because the comet’s orbit has been calculated with *great* accuracy, not just by NASA and ‘Officials’ but by many amateur astronomers, with their own equipment, completely independantly. In fact, in astronomical terms, we’re not even going to have a “near miss” with Comet ISON, which is a shame, because if it came closer we’d see it better…)

* Comet ISON’s arrival in the sky will not usher in a new Dark Age, herald the birth of the Antichrist, or trigger earthquakes or revolutions. Nor will it mean the onset of plaques, or the final clippy cloppy gallops of the Horsmen of the Apocalypse. (We know this because – well, it’s just crap, let’s be honest!)

* Comet ISON is NOT going to drag Mars out of its orbit and pull it towards the Earth. (I’m not making that up, some people actually believe that might happen…)

* Comet ISON is not (and boy, I love this!) “The Red Hand of Death”. It is not going to shower Earth with finger-like tendrils of poisonous chemicals and wipe us all out.

* Comet ISON is NOT … deep breath… an alien Habitat called “Xanterexx” with 1000s of alien beings on it. (We know this because – oh come on…!!!)

* Comet ISON is not “already pelting Earth with debris”, as some YouTube vids are showing. (We know this because the comet is currently further away than Mars, on the opposite side of the Sun, and its tail is pointing away from us, so it’s, you know, PHYSICALLY FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!)

* Comet ISON is NOT “changing course”, and “puzzling experts”. If experts are puzzled about anything it’s about how some people – people who are otherwise smart enough to use computers and the internet – are so bloody stupid and gullible, or both, that they actually believe this rubbish.

* Comet ISON can NOT cause solar flares “with its gravity”. Think about it… teeny tiny comet, made of ice, vs a HUGE bloated HUGE ball of ridiculously hot ball of gas. Which has the stronger gravity? Numpties.

Want to know the basic truth?

We know ALL those things are BS because Comet ISON – and the clue is in the name – is a COMET,Β  a big ball of dirty ice, melting in the warmth and light of the Sun as it whizzes around it, and we’ll see it in our sky for a while before it heads back out into the darkness. End Of Story.

Alright?

Good.

If you’re one of the people who believe that crap and are still here, then seriously, why ARE you? Sorry to sound rude, but really you people need to get a life.

Shut Up You Nutter s jpg

If I found a genie lamp in a cave tomorrow, one of my 3 wishes would be for someone to invent a computer virus to roll through the whole internet like a digital tsunami, swilling from it every conspiracy nut’s website, scouring it clean of the delusional rantings of every single Apollo Hoax believer, UFO nut and Comet ISON Doom-mongerer.

how stupid are you

Ok, rant over. Now everyone, go look at the maps and get ready to see something beautiful in the sky… πŸ™‚

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321 Responses to “We’re all doomed! DOOMED!!!”

  1. Rest in peace Nelson Mandela the world has lost a true hero and a friend to all people who live under oppression 1918-2013

  2. Yea true!!

  3. @trish I would love to talk about science!

  4. @trish thank you for all your help and kindness! I love that you helped me out! Thank you! πŸ™‚

  5. @phoenixpics thank you for your help! You and @trish helped me a lit for the past few weeks…I was so scared but now I’m not thanks to y’all :)! I also loved your reply to me the one that @phoenixpics replied to!! Again thank you!

  6. @phoenixpics are u a science teacher or something? But anyway can I ask you a few questions about science?

    • Something! πŸ˜‰ I do a lot of teaching in schools, and write astronomy books for kiss but I’m not a teacher, no.

    • Ask anything you want, Hannah. You have a collection of science book authors, scientists, and teachers at your disposal here! I promise, we all love to talk about our subject areas and we love to learn from each other about the areas of science that aren’t our particular expertise. You have a rather large collection of people here that can answer anything you might ask.

  7. You can scream, kick, and call names all you want, but it will not change the Truth. Just as in the days of Noah the blind mock and curse. Seek Jesus Christ with the same vigor you seek this vain world. I promise you will not be disappointed. May the God of Abraham be with you all in the coming months and years of tribulation.

    • Seriously now, shut up. This is a science blog, not a place for such rantings and ravings.

    • TTS – Great comment. This blog has nothing to do with science, this creep ‘phoenixpics’ is just a God hater with an ax to grind. The Bible tells us what God thinks of them, they are fools who do abominable works. He’s probably gay, or involved in some ‘alternative’ lifestyle, and he don’t relish the thought of being judged by the creator. He’s the type who vandalize manger scenes or topple statues at churches, some deep seated hatred of God, the Bible and Christians. He’s wise in his own eyes, but anyone with half a brain can see he’s an blithering idiot!!!

      • Everyone, I’m leaving this comment on for a day do you can all see just what I’ve had to put up with writing this blog. And Wolfie, you are an utter, utter disgrace to the Christian faith. You should hang your head in shame.

      • Wow. Phoenixpics, you really have had your work cut out for you,eh? Those were horrible things these people said.

        mtnwolf63 and the other person that shares his views: those are some really nasty, not-nice things to say about people you definitely don’t know in person, (in real life)…and you said those mean things in front of at least one child, possibly more. Your accusations of “alternative lifestyles,” might have just forced a parent to explain what it meant when it had never been brought up here at all, let alone the fact that such things would have been none of your business anyway! How dare you say such things in a forum where it did not belong!!! You say such hateful things without provocation or justification. Out of all of the people that have made posts on this blog, in order to share in science, you are the only one that is spouting off such vile hatred. It is easy to see that you will be dismissed and largely ignored here now.

        Perhaps that is why you keep coming back. Can’t stand the thought that so many of us with a science education can so easily look over your hate filled posts and not give them, or you, a second thought.

        I thought part of the job description of being a Christian was to try to recruit people into the religion? I don’t know anyone what would want to consider themselves as a part of a sanction so filled with hate and fear mongering. You have no attainable goals for recruitment here. You are wasting your time. None of us here would join your church.

        I don’t think anyone here has “some deep seated hatred of God, the Bible and Christians.” We just distrust and dislike people that are mean, call total strangers hate-filled names, and we cannot stand along-side people that use God, the Bible, and the Christian faith to spread vile, hate, and justify their bad behavior in the name of religious freedom when their actions and decisions are truly opposite of everything Jesus stood for. You are in the minority here and I suspect you will be largely ignored from here on out.

        Good luck in life.

      • You’ve been misinformed. This is no popularity contest. Did Noah “recruit people” to join the Ark??? NO he did not!!! Neither am I trying to “recruit people”!!! As in the time of Noah, all are being warned: Turn back to God, or die and join the wicked in HELL!!! And I’m glad a child found out, that kid probably has more sense than their parents. Kids definitely won’t get the Truth from a God hating, America hating public school system, nor will they get it from their parents, or the Liberal news media. Their only hope is to stumble onto the Truth on the Internet, and I’m thrilled every time that happens!!! The soul they save will be their own, and perhaps their stupid parents will learn a thing or two. Personally, I don’t care if you die in your sins and go to hell. That’s your choice, and heaven will probably be a better place without you. Just keep mocking and scoffing at people who love God, and your worst nightmare will soon come true!!! Sooner than you think!!! “As therefore the tares are gathered and burned in the fire; so shall it be in the end of this world. The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.” ~ Matthew 13:40-42
        http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2013:40-42&version=KJV

      • …and there it is, everyone. There it is. The number of exclamation marks you use in your comments is a dead giveaway to the fact that you are a nut job. You’re not religious, you’re a crazed zealot, the kind of zealot who gives truly religious people a bad name and makes them ashamed of crazy people like you. You quote scripture without believing it, or living it. You’re a hypocrite, plain and simple. You use all the religious buzzwords… soul… heaven… kingdom… angels… but I bet you don’t live that life yourself. Do you sit there in front of your monitor, pants around your ankles, drooling over the blogs of other crazies and their Fire and Brimstone fetish fantasies of Armageddon and Apocaolypse? Yeah. I bet you do. I bet you love that. But really, those exclamation marks say it all. Look at how many there are. Dozens of them, in all your comments. It’s the internet equivalent of writing in green biro. It’s easy to picture you sat there at your computer, cackling like a lunatic as you frantically hit that key as you close each sentence, shaking your head in disbelief at your own “wit” and “cleverness”, trying to imagine how upset, or offended, or angry your latest comment is going to make me, or my readers. Well, I’ve got news for you. You’re wasting your time, and have been for a while. You’re not upsetting, or offensive, you don’t make me angry. You’re an annoyance at worst, a distraction. In fact the word that springs to mind more than any other is pathetic. While you sit there getting your juvenile little kicks out of posting your bile and hatred, everyone else here is laughing at you and feeling pity for you and your warped, twisted beliefs. If there is a God he is ashamed of you, for saying such things and acting in such a way in his name. But man… those exclamation marks… just look at them, hammered into the screen like that… each one a red flag screaming out “Nutter!” to everyone who sees them. Just wonderful. Proof for everyone else of exactly what you are – a parasite. You are a parasite. With none of your own, you feed on the knowledge, the decency and intelligence of others. Your world is a small, insignificant, grey one, and you envy us ours. You want me to hate you, I know. You want me to read your bile-coated words and snarl with rage, to shout out in fury, like Kirk shouting “Khaaaaaaaan!!!!!!” But naaah. Not going to do that, sorry. You’re not worth it. I have better ways to spend my time than feeding the anger and inadequacies of someone who hides behind a nickname and gets a perverse kick out of trying to undermine the hard work and intelligence of others. No. I don’t hate you, I pity you more than anything, because my world, my universe, is so much more colourful and exciting and beautiful than yours will or could ever be. I feel your envy of me, and of the other people here. And that’s it, isn’t it? That’s why your finger stabs that exclamation mark key so hard, so viciously, so obsessively. You envy what we do, what we see, what we are. You envy people like me for our experiences, because you can never have them. I have stood laughing, turning around and around, laughing like a child, beneath a sky painted scarlet, crimson and ruby by the curtains, streamers and beams of an auroral storm so bright it cast shadows; I have sat in the centre of an ancient stone circle and watched a comet rise, tail first, behind snow-dusted mountains; I have stared up and seen fireballs falling from the heavens like shells in an artillery bombardment, flaring and flashing as they fell; I’ve taught probably tens of thousands of children about astronomy and space, opening their eyes to the wonders and the beauty of the universe, hopefully igniting sparks of inspiration and excitement in them that will stay with them forever, and maybe even lead to them becoming scientists themselves, making discoveries themselves; I’ve had my heart melt like chocolate as I knelt beside my telescope as a young girl, balancing on her tiptoes, peered into its eyepiece at a faint comet and turned to me, smiling, and whispered “It looks like a fairy… thank you…”. I go out on a clear night and I can *feel* the glories of the Creation you dirty and corrupt with your hatred and bile. When I look up I look out into an ocean of suns, great beacons of light. I can lift my hand to the sky and almost feel it tingling as the light and heat of galaxies billions of light years away brushes my skin, and more. So nothing you can say to me, no insult you can hurl at me, no obscenity you can accuse me of, means a thing. Dust on the wind. Because I know where this rage of yours comes from, this rage that makes you hammer that exclamation mark key like that: envy. envy of a life you can never have, envy of knowledge you can never enjoy, envy of beauty you can never see. I feel genuinely sorry for you that you feel that way, it must be a special kind of torture. I hope you find some kind of peace soon. It might take medication, or counselling, or a combination of the two, but help is available somewhere, from someone. Sincerely, good luck finding it.

      • Excellent multiple ripostes Stu! He/she cannot beat you with argument, and he don’t stand a chance of beating with prose.

        Phoenix has never said a bad word about Christians. I’m a pro-USA, Christian with no axe to grind, and I doubt many on here have any axe to grind either.

        Actually, most of us, especially Stu, has a lot of time for the USA, especially regarding its expertise and knowledge in the scientific sphere. If you hate NASA and believe they’re lying to us about ISON and other threats to us as a species, is it not you who is the USA hater?

        Almost everything you write is contradictory. Plus, your unforgiving view of Christianity, and your own admission that you’re not here to recruit, immediately puts you at odds with your Christian obligations.

        You’re no Christian, you’re more akin to the blonde haired Bible bashing terrorist in the film Contact. Those who have seen the film will understand as to what I allude.

        Basically, you know as much about the meaning of Christianity as you do Astronomy. Stick to your expertise in Googled Bible quotes and – of course – your punctuation mark fetish. However, go and waste someone else’s blog space.

        Adios arsehole!

  8. Oh why oh why can I not find any of my old papers from college to show my son what format a science paper should follow?! Ooooohhh!!! I hate it when unused external hard drives and thumb drives somehow corrupt themselves!

    πŸ˜€

  9. Mountain Wolf—The Bible says not to judge others lest ye yourself be judged. And also multiple times “God is Love”.

  10. ok heres what ive got to say I am not a jesus freak or nor do i believe everything on the web but ive watched videos from nasa myself and there is a small possibility that there could be a bit of debris hitting earth because the tail is 40,000 miles long and people are scared because we my well one day we could be wiped out from something hitting earth from space so who are you to judge people because they’re afraid and looking for answers not to be bitched out by someone calling them crazy… they have families and children to think of so if you dont want people who are scared on here and looking for answers why put up a worldwide blog for everyone to see… get a life and grow up because your blog wasted my time and i feel it has no business being part of anything to do with comet ison… and from your language alone you lose your credibility of being intelligent

    • Really? You criticise *my* language after using the term ‘Jesus freak’? Hypocrite or what? You need to understand that the’ debris’ in question is *dust* not rocks, so there is no danger. If you’d read the blog properly you would have got that. It’s true that one day we will be struck by an object from space but not by ISON and not by anything from ISON, that was never going to happen, ever. Again, I made that very clear on my blog, and it was also made clear on other blogs, websites, etc. I don’t judge people looking or answers, but when I provide those answers, with proof, with scientific data and observations and people still insist on predicting disaster then yes, I will criticise them. From the very start of this blog I have done my best to reassure people, point them to websites with hard scientific facts to reassure them also, so my conscience is clear. And I have a life thank you, and don’t need to grow up because this blog helped countless thousands of people around the world see ISON and follow its journey. If my blog wasted your time that’s because you wasted your time coming here when you clearly wanted something less personal. Sorry about that.

    • Angelina this blog exists to stop people worrying about not just comet ison but other comets debris and anything astronomical being turned into a tool for people to use to scare others into believing their own crackpot ideas, i would like you to write a reasonable explanation as to why “academically” you consider this blog “a waste of time” when a lot of the people here and i am one of them are astronomical professionals.
      And as for anyone’s credibility i wouldn’t be surprised if you were just another account belonging to one of the fringe element here, then it looks like they have at least 1 supporter.

  11. Thank you mtnwolf you proved the point better than i ever could have done. also i think when copying and pasting bible quotes you might want to think about dropping some of the commas “end quote” .

  12. angelina i think you need to subscribe to “mtnwolf””” “paranoia” “blog” “bible” “”quotes”” dont forget the commas very important, as for you criticizing phoenix i think you should get a reality check and maybe watch the “real” nasa videos on their website not the played with ones on youtube you might actually see that “et” isnt coming the end of the world isnt nigh and that you are every other sucker for youtube conspiracy videos should maybe occupy your time in other ways .. i dont know join a cult or live in the woods something that keeps you away from the internet. oh and remember commas””

  13. OMFG Mtnwlf63, stop blowing up my inbox with your stupid hate filled crap that has nothing to do with science! You can put links up in this blog all you want, but no one here will follow them because they probably lead to a phishing site or some other sinister program designed to infect our computers. Have you nothing better to do with your life?! Leave us alone! Go away! Take your ball and go home! Gimminicrickets but you are dense! If you can’t take the hint, take the direct statement, we don’t like you and we don’t want you here! After this, I will not be responding to you ever again because that is clearly what you want! You aren’t worth it!

    Git!

    • Way to go, Trish! You said it!
      (Or, as we say over here with typical English reserve, “Hear hear!”…)

    • Nice one Trish! πŸ™‚

      Are you stealing more of our English words Trish? πŸ˜‰

      I thought “Git” was an English object of offense. Sounds even stranger coming from a lady from good ol’ Cal..a..forn…I…A. πŸ™‚

      Today, we are treated to wall-to-wall clear blue skies. Let’s hope it stays clear long enough to do some comet hunting tonight.

      Craig

      • I think she meant ‘Git out of here…’ Go away.. I managed to see and photograph Lovejoy this morning before going to work. Will post pics later.

      • Super news Stu.
        We look forward to seeing what you got. Looks like we have a small window of opportunity tonight too. Before the next Atlantic front moves in.

        Hopefully I’ll get to see her for the first time tonight. I’ve got everything crossed…and I mean everything. πŸ˜‰

        Craig

      • There was a delay in posting my pics. Putting them on now.

      • hahahaha!!! While “git” could be used as a verb as in, “Git outa here,” if one was to succumb to the saturation of southern slang we often hear in the red states of the southern U.S. (and yes, northern Florida qualifies as the South here), I can assure all of you across the pond that British slang and other assorted words totally underused here in the U.S. are in fact rubbing off on me.

        You can’t all take the credit though. πŸ™‚ I have a 14 year old son which mandates us all to be Harry Potter fans. One of my favorite British Harry Potter insult quotes is, “You are a right foul git, you know that?”

        So, my use of the word git above, as pointed out could really be taken both ways, my original intention here was rather immature name calling.

        But, it felt really good! πŸ˜‰

        You Brits have all the cool words! πŸ˜€

        So, will we see LoveJoy with the naked eye? I wonder if I could con my old Physics professor to allow my son and I to tag along to the university observatory. I couldn’t fit any of her space related classes into my schedule and many of them required late nights at the university telescope which I couldn’t have done at that time since my son was only 6 and hubby was always working out of town. Someone had to stay home with the kid. She was cool to me when I was still a student. I don’t want to miss out on all this cool stuff all of you with equipment get to see!

        If any of you visit Florida and need SCUBA/snorkel/kayak/nature trails/beach guides, etc…I’m your girl! Telescopes or binoculars stronger than necessary for bird watching…yeah, I don’t have that stuff. 😦

        It’s getting late here. Nighty night from 39 degree F Jacksonville, FL. And yeah, that is really bleeping cold here!! Burrrrrrrr!!!

      • Hi Trish

        I hope you and your kid do get to use the observatory telescope. That would be ace. Without wanting to dumb the tone of this blog, I would like to ask you if the word “w*nk*r is an American surname?

        I’m sure there was a woman in the 90’s US sitcom 2.5 Children (or something like that) who was called Mrs. Wa**er. I know it’s an insult not oft used in America, but widely used here in Europe, in many languages. In Greece for example it is “Malaka”.

        We got all the USA slang within a week of it becoming commonplace in America. The words “sick” and “twerk” are all the rage among teenagers, of which I’ve got two.

        Anyway, the cloud came in early last night and I missed my chance to see Lovejoy again. 😦

        It looks like we’ve got a day or so of new storms battering us now, and here in the Midlands we’re expecting some more wind damage from the 70mph gusts we are expecting later today.

        In a way it’s good that ISON fizzled out, for us in England anyway. Imagine how frustrating it would be to not be able to enjoy the huge spectacle we were hoping for? A huge comet shining behind weeks and weeks of low hanging cloud. Now that would be torture!

        Clear skies everyone!

        I will certainly keep you in mind if I’m ever in South Florida and need guides and SCUBA gear. Thanks for that. πŸ™‚

        Have you got a website?

        Craig

  14. Well i have qued some jobs through our University with the bradford robotic telescope so i am hoping to soon be able to post a link to some nice pics to comet lovejoy, happy viewing everyone

  15. Saw some nice blazes from the Geminids here in South Aussie and hope to see Lovejoy πŸ™‚

  16. You are all idiots ! This is just Feeble efforts to steer your thinking .. Why go to effort to deface people’s knowledge vs anything authoritarian e.g nasa the governments industual complex ! which oh so must be true seeing as normal is to plug in and tap out of your intuition and anything other than that we segregate that option of thinking because its not what tv says its not critical thinking that is rewarded and regarded useful for source matters , no we have a dickhead with crazy paraphernalia of tinfoil on his head as if to insist we are all mad ?? How sick you make me and how backwards your spelling your message let alone to understand your intent with this bullshit !! Asshole !

    • Knowledge? Critical thinking? Haha! Don’t make me laugh! More like wacko nut job looney tunes conspiracy theory bullshit; headcase Doomsday theories and prophecies proved wrong time and time again, but kept going by deluded nutters who know eff all about science and the natural world, who probably never look at the actual starry sky because that would mean getting off their sofas and pausing their latest ridiculous dvd, or leaving their computers and logging off from their favourite cuckoo forum and facing the Real World. But thanks for stopping by. πŸ™‚

  17. Haha, id love to be in a room with a person like you when a asteroid IS bound for earth!! Just to see the look on your face! Priceless, it sounds like your the one with no life.

    • Yeah, yeah, yeah. Armageddon, ooh, exciting, I get it. Come back when you can punctuate, ok? πŸ™‚

  18. Ha ha ha. No one knows the truth but GOD

    • Ah, another anonymous poster, so confident of their beliefs they hide behind a nickname. Grow up.

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